My name is Claudia. And I killed a Man.

26 Jul

My Name is Claudia.
I killed A Man.
And I didn’t care.

By the mercy of God, at age 14, I was struck by terror and realized the great evil of that which I had done.
For He who knew no sin, became Sin.
Because of Me.

I can still so vividly  picture Him, tortured upon the cross. Limp body caked with blood.
“My God! My God!” “Eli! Eli!”
Deep pain etched across knifed words.
The Man-God with perfect heart because Man-of-Ugly-Sin.

My face. Before His Eyes. He saw me, that much is certain. On that weathered cross thousands of years ago.
My Life of Sin. Became His life of Sin. My Deceit. My Gossip. My Theft. My Lust. My Greed. My Pride. My Distain. My Rebellion. It all was before Him. I can still see His tear streaked face as He screamed in pain, in terror.

I can recall the day I first read those words aloud. Thunder of Heaven as terror struck my very soul at the sound of them.
“My God!! Eli!! Why Have you forsaken me? Lama Sabachthani?”
He endured it for ME. Oh Blessed-Wretched thought!

I killed Him. Add Murder to my list of Sins.
An Innocent man.
And I, guilty, with a blood-splattered mallet still clutched in my hand.

My Name is Claudia.
I killed A Man.
By the Grace of God, now I care.
And By the Grace of God, I now dedicate my life to Him whom I slew.



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2 Responses to “My name is Claudia. And I killed a Man.”

  1. clarita July 26, 2011 at 11:15 am #

    That is a powerful bit of writing… and a reminder of who we ALL were. But for JESUS…

  2. Chelsea M July 26, 2011 at 12:03 pm #

    Beautiful-wretched thought indeed.

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